Why you need to go to Cinque Terre, Italy

With the arrival of warm weather, I've been thinking a lot about where I want to go on vacation this summer. I will most definitely be coming home in August, but I also want to spend about a week travelling in Europe. If you have any suggestions, please let me know! I'm thinking Spain.  

Anyway, my goal is to have an equally amazing time as I had in Italy last summer.  I traveled along the Mediterranean coast, and everywhere was absolutely beautiful.  Although I have so many recommendations for the other places we visited, today's post will focus on Cinque Terre.

Cinque Terre is an area of five small villages located on the Mediterranean Sea.  All of them are almost inaccessible by car, so you typically take a train or hike between villages.  Before everyone jumps down my throat for saying that you can't really travel by car, let me clarify and say that you can, but the roads are terrifying.  Most of Cinque Terre is comprised of cliffs, and swerving on windy roads that overlook 600 foot drops is not ideal for most tourists.  I'm sure the locals have mastered it, but not me.  Also, parking's a bitch, so just walk or take the train.

The views are absolutely beautiful and hiking in between cities is a must.  I wasn't as ambitious as most, and we did not hike to each city.  We hiked between two villages and I believe it took an hour an half. However, if you are really into that, I would definitely suggest walking to each of them.

Also, after you've hiked, you will be hot, like really hot, so reward yourself with some of the amazing gelato that Italy is famous for.  I think we ate at least two gelatos a day, and it was awesome.

Then after your gelato, you can go swimming in the sea which is obviously beautiful and really refreshing. You can always find a public beach, just keep a look out.  The only downfall to public, or free, beaches is that you will be laying on sharp, uncomfortable rocks, and you will most likely be discreetly (at least trying) changing behind a towel.  Private beaches feature lounge chairs and changing tents.  We went to the beach in Monterosso although I believe all of the cities have accessible places to swim.

I would suggest going to Cinque Terre in the spring or fall because it was simply just too hot during the summer.  You will be constantly uncomfortable in the summer.  Although this picture was taken in Monaco, you can see that I have finally hit my breaking point and had a minor temper tantrum due to the heat.

One more suggestion: EAT! I ate so much, and I have zero regrets about the few extra pounds I put on. The seafood you will eat was probably caught less than 1km away from the restaurant, and the Buffala mozzarella is a must - they know what they're doing when it comes to mozzarella.  Please eat as much pasta, pizza, seafood and focaccia as you possibly can.  Oh and gelato, definitely eat a lot of gelato. And pesto! I could go on forever.

What I miss about the US

Don't get me wrong, I am having an amazing time in Paris, and I am loving stuffing my face with croissants and ALL the cheese.  However, I received an awesome package from my lovely mother this week, and it reminded me that there are some things that the French will never be able to give me.  It's not that I can't live without these things, and I probably never missed or even thought about them before I left, but now, now is a different story.  Finding out that my favorite pasta sauce tastes different in France (apparently I've grown to like the unique flavors of pesticides and hormones) is enough to send me spiraling into homesickness.  In addition to my parents, my friends, my cats, and my car - can't forget about Howard - these are the things I miss about the US:

Shamrock Shakes

It's March which means only two things - it's finally going to get warmer and the best food-related invention since someone decided to potatoes in oil and make French fries - the Shamrock Shake.  It's green food-coloring and mint heaven, and the best possible way to celebrate Irish heritage and culture.  Why, why don't the French sell them?  I'm sure the French would love them too! This is my plea to the McDonalds of France, PLEASE realize your horrible mistake.  You can still make it right for next year.  I will even accept if you don't put whipped cream and a cherry on top like they do in the US, I just need my shamrock!

Snow

I know that everyone in the US will hate me for this, but I really miss the snow.  It seems like every time I go on Facebook or talk to my mother, New Jersey gets another foot of snow.  The one year I leave, the North East turns into Canada.  I'm sure that if I was still home, I would hate the snow right now and never want to see it again.  However, in Paris, it's really not that cold and it rains almost every day in the winter.  Maybe that doesn't sound too bad, but it will make you go insane, especially when you lose your umbrella and are too stubborn to buy a new one.  I wish it snowed and was actually cold.  Maybe just for a week.

Calling people ratchet

They don't know what I am talking about. I'm tired of explaining the definition of a word which technically means a type of wrench.

Southern Comfort

You don't know what I would do for a SoCo lime right now.  Yes, I can go to the Hardrock Cafe and buy one, but my pride prevents me from stooping that low.  If I did go to the Hardrock,  1. I wouldn't tell a soul 2. if you did somehow find out, put me on suicide watch because I'm that homesick  3. I would pretend to have some sort of different accent, it seems better that a foreigner goes there than an American.  Too bad all of my accents suck, I can go from Indian to eastern European to British in one sentence.

Buffalo Sauce

I have been craving buffalo sauce for the past two months, and thank god, my mom sent me a bottle because it's impossible to find a good one in France.  The French definition of spicy greatly differs from ours not to mention that everything 'American' is excessively expensive (I'm talking 6 Euros for peanut butter expensive). I put it on my pizza, I dip my fries in it, I eat it with EVERYTHING, and I am a happy, happy girl now that I can have it again.

Hair conditioner

Apparently, the French don't get knots in their hair.  How? I don't know.  I imagine that they spend a lot of time trying to force a comb through a solid glob of hair after showering.  Have they not heard that we have this amazing product called conditioner that makes your hair shiny and soft and gets rid of knots?  Okay, so you can find conditioner, but it's rare and expensive.

These are a few things I miss about the US, and I am sure that there will be parts 2, 3 and 4 in the future. I am going to go eat some bread now.

Le Carnaval de Dunkerque

I spent this past weekend in the north of France, in Lille and Dunkerque, for the Carnaal de Dunkerque. Perhaps the Ch'tis get mocked by the French but not by this American girl.  1. They're food is ungodly good. If I lived there, I would definitely gain about... 50 pounds, but hey, I'd be happy. I had fried Camembert with frites, and I thought I had died and go to fatty-foods heaven.  2. They definitely know how to have a good party.

The beach in Dunkerque.

Okay so let me explain the Carnaval.  I guess it's what Americans would call a festival except everyone dresses in crazy costumes.  Typically men dress as women in the most tacky and outlandish dresses with clashing tights and boas and whatever else they can find.  Everyone also puts on a full face of makeup (my friends decided to give me a nice black unibrow and a huge clown smile), wears masks, wigs, or hats.  It's absolutely ridiculous and oh so entertaining.

Did I mention that everyone drinks heavily during this extravaganza?  It'll be important for the next part of the story.

As you have just about taken all of these glorious sights in, a procession leads you to a square in front of the mayor's office.  This is where things got a little dicey for me, and the alcohol became necessary.  Everyone packs themselves into the square and pushes themselves to the very front in order to catch the fish which are being thrown from the office.  Yes, they throw fish at people.  At the end, they throw a few lobsters which are apparently extra special.

The people in the windows are throwing fish into the crowd.

It gets pretty rough in this crowd. I was thrown and pushed in every direction, I broke my shoe, and was almost strangled a few times thanks to my boas.  I also have a few really awesome bruises that I love to show off as battle wounds.  Anyway, as I started worrying about my well being and dying alone in a sea of drunken people hungry for some fish, I left the center and made my way to the outside of the crowd.  Not an easy task by the way.  My friends and I had a meeting point because it was pretty much inevitable that we would get separated, so that came in handy.  Otherwise, I would be living in Dunkerque right now.

After the fish catching, everyone links arms and walks through the streets.  Unfortunately we missed this part because our bladders had needs (girls ya know?), and speaking of which, I peed in the street in front of hundreds of people.  Not my proudest moment, but when you gotta go, you gotta go.

Yup, that just happened.  They saw... they all saw.

I also did not mention that random people come up to you give you a zeutch, or kiss, on the mouth.  It's said that back in the day, if you were married in Dunkerque, the only time when it was acceptable to cheat on your spouse was at the Carnaval.  Cute. Well the tradition lived on, but it's really not as scandalous as it sounds.  I was terrified of old gross men forcibly kissing me and slipping me the tongue.  However, it's really very tame, and I only received one zeutch (I like to blame my unibrow for my unpopularity).

After a break, you then all join together around a merry-go-round, link arms, and continue crushing each other while running in a circle.  You also sing traditional French and Ch'tis songs during this event and the whole festival.  Obviously, I knew none of them.

We ended the night by forming a random dance party in front of a bar where I learned, again, that I am completely ignorant of all popular French songs.

Sorry for the poor quality, but this is our dance party

So to sum up - fish, kissing, and costumes - what do they have to do with each other? I have absolutely no idea, but whatever, it's fun, so it doesn't matter.  The Carnaval was definitely an experience, to say the least, but despite what I thought before, I will be going again one day.  Although it may take me a few years to prepare myself.

Amsterdam - it's cute as shit

Since I had last week off, I went to Amsterdam for a long weekend (that still feels really weird to say), and of course had an amazing time. And of course I am going to tell you all about it, but first I want to give a sort of overview on my thoughts of the city.

Let me tell you, it's adorable. First of all, we stayed in a boat which turned out to be a slightly glorified hostel. Despite some obnoxious English teenagers who woke all the passengers (yes passengers) up coming home at six in the morning, it was pretty awesome.  Our "cabins" were super small, but the claustrophobia forced us to spend time in the the lounge and see more of the city in spite of our sleep deprivation.

This the Avanti - our hotel/getaway boat if anything should go wrong.

Anyway, let me get back to the cute as shit part.  Everywhere you look in Amsterdam is beautiful. Okay maybe not the Red Light District, but then again, a fair amount of men find the lovely ladies in the windows to be beautiful too. For some reason I picture all of their clients being old Asian business men. I don't know why.

Yes, that is a cat sitting in the window of a small old house sandwiched between two big apartment buildings. Adorable.

I'm getting off track. All of the houses on the canals are stunning with their quaint painted bricks and huge windows. I'm seriously considering becoming a professional au pair, moving to Amsterdam, and taking care of some bratty Dutch kids who live in one of these amazing houses.

And there are the bicycles. Everywhere. There are literally parking lots just for bikes, but don't let that adorable tidbit fool you. At first you're like "oh my god it's so freaking cute that everyone rides bikes," and it is in fact a hipster's wet dream.  However give yourself twenty minutes in the city, and you will turn on those bikes faster than one of those prostitutes will climb on Asian business men. Every time you cross the street, you almost DIE. They seriously come out of no where!  I am sure that cyclists hate pedestrians just as much as I hate them.  We're probably pretty annoying while we're stupidly standing in bike lanes, staring at the coffee shops in utter amazement.

In case you are wondering, "coffee shop" is a euphemism for a place where you can buy weed and smoke it LEGALLY... and maybe buy some coffee too.

Here's another bike... just because.

Okay so this is my brief overview of Amsterdam.  I am realizing that it provides absolutely nothing useful, but I hope you enjoy the pictures. I will be posting suggestions of where to go, what to eat, drink, etc. along with some charming anecdotes in the next few days.