Friday, May 9, 2014

Dumb advice to get over being homesick

So you may have noticed (or maybe not because I really don't know if anyone actually reads this), but I've been MIA for the past three weeks.  There are a few reasons for this: 1. I'm pretty sure my neighbors moved out, so I can't steal their internet anymore 2. I've been pretty lazy, and 3. all the homesickness that I should have experienced within the past four months, hit me all at once.  I felt like I was almost completely debilitated by how sad I was... all the time.  I cried pretty much all day everyday, and I didn't even know why.  Everything just sucked, and I hated everyone and everything... including my blog.  Also, I usually post a link to my blog on reddit, and I knew that if anyone posted anything negative (which of course would happen because, come on, it's reddit), I would refuse to leave my pet-carrier-sized apartment for about a week.

Anyway, THIS IS NOT A PITY PARTY! I did not want to bitch to the internet about my problems and how I miss my mommy - definitely not the best look for a semi-adult.  After about four weeks of homesickness and one week of constantly crying for no reason, I think I have finally moved past being homesick.  So yayy go me!  Not that I don't still miss my family and friends, but I am not sad all the time anymore.  There's a big difference, and I didn't realize that until this awful experience.

Because I'm super lame, I actually researched how to become unhomesick on the internet.  Obviously that was my low point when I knew I hit rock bottom.  I don't think the intention of the articles was supposed to be funny, but I found their advice to be hysterically stupid.  So I guess in the end, they helped in a way.  I am going to give you some of their examples on how to help yourself when you're homesick, and if you like being a sane human being, please don't follow them.

Parents should stop communicating with their children

What the fuck?? This is from a CNN article where the author also states that being homesick isn't actually missing the physical dwelling you formerly inhabited.  Because obviously that was a HUGE misconception that had to be dealt with.  Okay, so I do kind of understand in theory why parents would have to cut their kids off if they were calling them every five minutes, but in reality, this is probably the worst idea ever.  If my parents stopped talking to me because I was homesick, I think I would jump off a bridge.  I mean you're already depressed, and then on top of that, your parents refuse to return your phone calls. What kind of advice is that??

Leave your door open, so you can meet new people

I know this 'how to guide' to being homesick is meant for college students, but if I left my door open, the 85 year old perv down the hall would invite me to a cocktail party in his bed.  And the last people I want to meet are the two guys across the hall who are consistently hammered at 3 pm while unsuccessfully practicing to become professional rappers.

Find a new home in your different surroundings

You mean like a bar?  Thanks for the tip wikiHow, I'm on it.

Don't think about the worst that could happen

Well I wasn't... until now.  I have never talked to any homesick person who said "I miss home so much, and I'm pretty sure that my building is going to collapse while I'm in the shower, and then everyone will get AIDS from lollipops."

Remember to eat and sleep enough

Yeah... so I didn't mention that all I've been doing for the last month is eating and sleeping.  I'm guessing that if I increase the amount of food I stuff in my face and how many naps I take during the day, this might get worse. Do you know how hard it is to be surrounded by bread and cheese when you're sad?? Pretty freaking hard. Then I'll cry because I can't fit in my jeans, and I can't buy new ones because they only sell my extra-tall size at American Eagle which only exists in the US, and look, now I'm homesick again!! It's a vicious circle, but thanks for thinking I'm not already disgusting Cambridge.

Obviously most of these articles do have some helpful advice on getting over your homesickness, so I did link them.  Just don't read the CNN article, that one really is complete shit.  Anyway, if you're feeling homesick, maybe the stupidity of some of these articles will make you smile too, and then we can all be happy! Yayy! Or if you want to have a cry sesh, we could totally do that too.