Dumb advice to get over being homesick

So you may have noticed (or maybe not because I really don't know if anyone actually reads this), but I've been MIA for the past three weeks.  There are a few reasons for this: 1. I'm pretty sure my neighbors moved out, so I can't steal their internet anymore 2. I've been pretty lazy, and 3. all the homesickness that I should have experienced within the past four months, hit me all at once.  I felt like I was almost completely debilitated by how sad I was... all the time.  I cried pretty much all day everyday, and I didn't even know why.  Everything just sucked, and I hated everyone and everything... including my blog.  Also, I usually post a link to my blog on reddit, and I knew that if anyone posted anything negative (which of course would happen because, come on, it's reddit), I would refuse to leave my pet-carrier-sized apartment for about a week.

Anyway, THIS IS NOT A PITY PARTY! I did not want to bitch to the internet about my problems and how I miss my mommy - definitely not the best look for a semi-adult.  After about four weeks of homesickness and one week of constantly crying for no reason, I think I have finally moved past being homesick.  So yayy go me!  Not that I don't still miss my family and friends, but I am not sad all the time anymore.  There's a big difference, and I didn't realize that until this awful experience.

Because I'm super lame, I actually researched how to become unhomesick on the internet.  Obviously that was my low point when I knew I hit rock bottom.  I don't think the intention of the articles was supposed to be funny, but I found their advice to be hysterically stupid.  So I guess in the end, they helped in a way.  I am going to give you some of their examples on how to help yourself when you're homesick, and if you like being a sane human being, please don't follow them.

Parents should stop communicating with their children

What the fuck?? This is from a CNN article where the author also states that being homesick isn't actually missing the physical dwelling you formerly inhabited.  Because obviously that was a HUGE misconception that had to be dealt with.  Okay, so I do kind of understand in theory why parents would have to cut their kids off if they were calling them every five minutes, but in reality, this is probably the worst idea ever.  If my parents stopped talking to me because I was homesick, I think I would jump off a bridge.  I mean you're already depressed, and then on top of that, your parents refuse to return your phone calls. What kind of advice is that??

Leave your door open, so you can meet new people

I know this 'how to guide' to being homesick is meant for college students, but if I left my door open, the 85 year old perv down the hall would invite me to a cocktail party in his bed.  And the last people I want to meet are the two guys across the hall who are consistently hammered at 3 pm while unsuccessfully practicing to become professional rappers.

Find a new home in your different surroundings

You mean like a bar?  Thanks for the tip wikiHow, I'm on it.

Don't think about the worst that could happen

Well I wasn't... until now.  I have never talked to any homesick person who said "I miss home so much, and I'm pretty sure that my building is going to collapse while I'm in the shower, and then everyone will get AIDS from lollipops."

Remember to eat and sleep enough

Yeah... so I didn't mention that all I've been doing for the last month is eating and sleeping.  I'm guessing that if I increase the amount of food I stuff in my face and how many naps I take during the day, this might get worse. Do you know how hard it is to be surrounded by bread and cheese when you're sad?? Pretty freaking hard. Then I'll cry because I can't fit in my jeans, and I can't buy new ones because they only sell my extra-tall size at American Eagle which only exists in the US, and look, now I'm homesick again!! It's a vicious circle, but thanks for thinking I'm not already disgusting Cambridge.

Obviously most of these articles do have some helpful advice on getting over your homesickness, so I did link them.  Just don't read the CNN article, that one really is complete shit.  Anyway, if you're feeling homesick, maybe the stupidity of some of these articles will make you smile too, and then we can all be happy! Yayy! Or if you want to have a cry sesh, we could totally do that too.

Why does everyone expect so much from 22 year olds?

I usually don't write serious posts questioning society and whatnot, but I guess I felt like it today.  So here's my rant about how everyone should get off everyone else's case and do whatever they want.  Oh, and there's random pictures of Paris - there's really no connection whatsoever.  

As a recent college graduate, I understand the pressures that society puts on young twenty-somethings to hit the ground running after finishing school.  Since high school, people have been asking me what I want to do with my life.  During college, every time I would tell someone that I was majoring in French and in history, people would ask, "what do you want to do with that?" with that judgmental tone that made me want to scream.  And the absolute worst was during entirety of my senior year, everyone from classmates, friends, family members to complete strangers asked me what I planned to do after graduation.  Well, it's been almost a year since graduation, and guess what, I still have no idea.  

Maybe I was avoiding tough decisions and situations by moving to Paris, or maybe I wanted one last adventure before becoming a certified adult.  Either way, it's been the best decision I've made so far (besides deciding to go back to being a blonde after accidentally dying my hair black... that still has to be the best one).  As I discuss in my guest post  on my friend Val's blog The In-between Life, not everyone is required to follow the path that is expected of them.  I still do not understand why people expect so much from people in their early twenties, and why are we all required to become so serious so quickly?  We go from being complete screw-ups in college, and then we're suddenly forced into the expectations of adulthood.

I'm not trying to say that we should all stay care-free and immature for the rest of our lives, that's not my argument whatsoever.  All I'm trying to say is that everyone is different, a snow flake if you will, and we can't all be forced down the same path as everyone else.  I know what people think when I tell them what I'm doing, but quite frankly, I don't care.  I'm not going to lie and say that I didn't use to - people's negativity toward my decision to become an au pair really bothered me for awhile, but I think the most adult thing I've done so far was to choose not to listen to them anymore.

Please check out Val's blog The In-between Life where she writes about being in your early twenties fresh out of college.  Also, check out my guest post about my life after graduation and what lead me to my decision to move to beautiful Paris, France.

People I hate on the metro

I have been in Paris for more than three months now, and as much as I still love the city, some of its mystique is starting to fade.  When I first came here, I thought the metro was the best thing ever because it was just so easy.  I was also completely unaccustomed to mass public transportation because I lived in a small town in the US, so the fact that I could get almost anywhere by just swiping my Navigo was absolutely amazing. However, although the metro is still easy, while sometimes frustrating, my love for it has diminished mostly due to my fellow passengers.  I'm hoping that most of you who have experienced the metro will agree that these people are the absolute worst, or if you haven't, that you will be thankful that you have never encountered them.

Accordion players or anyone else with an instrument, microphone or stereo

At first, I thought accordion players were charming, and they would make my metro ride instantly more enjoyable and Parisian.  Now, after hearing the same songs countless times, I want to stab their accordion repeatedly, throw it on the rails and wait for another train to run it over.  Maybe it's a bit harsh, but seriously, accordions are super annoying.  All I want to do is sit on the metro and eavesdrop onto people's conversations in peace, but no, someone has to get on the metro and try to sing at the top of their lungs.  I have, one more than one occasion, changed cars to get away from their terribleness.  

People who don't give up their seat

Obviously I don't mean to me.  I am lucky enough to be a young, healthy person without any disabilities. However, I have on many occasions witnessed an elderly man or very-pregnant woman come on the metro, and no one has given up their seat for them.  Who are you??  I know you play Candy Crush better when you're sitting down, but come on, please try to be a decent human being for twenty minutes out of your day.

People who haven't taken a shower in, let's say, five years

The only thing worse than being stuck on a crowded metro train where you're packed like cattle because we obviously all have really important places to go, is being sandwiched next to some one who smells like death rolled in shit.  It's the only time when you'll actively wonder if you actually need to breath in order to survive the next ten minutes.  For the love god, just smell socially acceptable.  You don't need to smell good, you can even still smell bad, just not THAT bad.  

People who talk on the phone in the metro

1. How do you have service?  My phone is completely useless when I'm half-way down the stairs entering the metro, how in the world can you be having a coherent conversation with someone?  2. What is so important that you have to have this conversation right now while the rest of listen?  It's not like I can really choose whether or not to overhear it, and in case you're wondering, it's never an interesting conversation. 

People who get on the metro before letting the others get off

This is simple logistics - you have to let people get off the train before you get on or else no one can really get on or off, and it's just complete chaos.  Calm down and wait the five seconds for everyone to exit. Patience is a virtue, my friend.  But you're not patient, so you look like an asshole, and everyone hates you.

There you have it - just some of the people who I hate on the metro.  I think I've become more cynical since I've been here because I actively had to prevent myself from writing about 25 of these.  Let me know who you hate on the metro, and then we can be friends and hate them together.